I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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