9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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