Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
