The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
