She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
