Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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