No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
