how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I showed him my bush... on skype.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
