What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
