I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
