went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
