Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
