so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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