i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
