stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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