is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
