i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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