after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
