Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk

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(517): View more from Michigan

when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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(310): View more from California

A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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(214): View more from Texas

The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.

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(815): View more from Illinois

So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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(815): View more from Illinois

we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.

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(916): View more from California

Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.

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