Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
