Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.

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(317): View more from Indiana

So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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(607): View more from New York

Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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(415): View more from California

You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

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(404): View more from Georgia

You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel

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(330): View more from Ohio

Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping

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