My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
