Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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