is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
