All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
