If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
