She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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