lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
