i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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