You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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