i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize