i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
