You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
