Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
