just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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