mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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