he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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