We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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