I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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