remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
