cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
