Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

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(757): View more from Virginia

where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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(530): View more from California

My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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(720): View more from Colorado

She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.

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(913): View more from Kansas

My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger

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(408): View more from California

Dude, that was like bongs ago.

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(475): View more from Connecticut

Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!

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