So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How drunk are you?
Completed.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
