wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
