You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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