Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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