yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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