shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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