let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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