Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
